Mobile DJ Tales – Episode 3: The Best Wedding Caterer EVER!

Posted: August 2, 2013 in Storytime
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By 1988, I was fortunate enough to have had a couple gigs under my belt, and I had already done my first wedding. While I remember the groom’s headband and the adorable couple’s argument at the end of the reception, I don’t actually remember the food. Hey, maybe there wasn’t any, but that doesn’t matter, because my second wedding would prove to trump all those before and after.

The setting was again in lovely Lawrence, MA, at another dilapidated function hall sporting decades of stale cigarette aroma. Not one to read a book by its cover, I still made my usual guess at how long the fair couple would stay together, and there was little benefit of the doubt to offer. That said, at the tender age of 17, I witnessed the most amazing sight at the buffet table, one that I still remember 25 years later and don’t plan to forget: Kentucky Fried Chicken!

Yes, folks, covering the table was the largest display of the colonel’s original recipe, mashed potatoes, and buttery biscuits I had ever seen, and it was a free for all. I tried my best to eat moderate portions, but I must have babysat that spread for a solid hour. When you’re a teenager in America, unlimited KFC is like a bucket of bacon: heaven on earth.

After the meal, there was the usual cake cutting ceremony. As a mobile DJ, I saw plenty of times where one of the bride or groom would threaten to smash the piece of cake in the other’s face, only to end up being kind and offering them a small bite. Not here, folks. The bride gave the groom a mouthful, but in return he picked up the entire top tier and absolutely leveled the bride. My giggly 17 year old self got quite the kick out of that. The bride took it in stride and gave most of it back to the groom, and when the war was over, both stood to challenge the most seasoned dry cleaner to a long day at the office.

Are they still together? If so, I’d love to DJ their 25th anniversary party.


  1. Priya says:

    Did u draw the pic ? 😉

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